23 Years of Love: Lessons We Learned on the Journey Together
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Introduction:
After 23 years of marriage, we’ve learned that love is not just about feelings—it’s about commitment, growth, and choosing each other every single day. Our journey has been filled with joy, challenges, hard lessons, and beautiful victories. Whether you are married, single, engaged, or healing from a past relationship, what we’ve learned along the way can encourage you to build healthier, stronger relationships rooted in love, honesty, and faith.
Here are our favorite Bible study tools to help you grow deeper in understanding Scripture and strengthen your spiritual walk.
Starting Young: Learning and Growing Together
We got married young—at 19 and 21—and that alone came with many lessons. We quickly realized that being young didn’t mean being unprepared; it meant we had the opportunity to grow together. Instead of rushing to “have it all together,” we learned to enjoy the season we were in.
Our early years were full of laughter, spontaneous moments, and learning what it truly meant to be partners. Those simple memories became the foundation of our marriage. Over time, we learned that love grows when you allow room for mistakes, learning, and grace. Marriage is a journey of becoming, not arriving.
Forgiveness, Honesty, and Hard Conversations
Forgiveness has been one of the most important lessons in our marriage. We’ve had moments where we hurt each other, misunderstood one another, or said things we later regretted. What kept us moving forward was learning how to forgive—fully and sincerely.
We also learned that forgiveness must be paired with honesty. Avoiding hard conversations only creates distance. Speaking the truth in love, even when it’s uncomfortable, builds trust. Sometimes humor helped us get through heavy moments, reminding us that love doesn’t always have to be tense to be serious.
Navigating Change and Outside Influences
Life doesn’t stand still, and neither does marriage. Over the years, we’ve faced career changes, shifting friendships, family pressures, and distractions that tested our connection. We learned quickly that if we didn’t protect our marriage, outside influences would slowly pull us apart.
Communication became essential. When we didn’t talk, assumptions filled the gaps. We made it a priority to spend intentional time together—without distractions—to stay connected and aligned. Marriage requires focus, especially in a world that constantly pulls our attention elsewhere.
Building a Strong Spiritual Foundation
Our faith has been the anchor of our marriage. During difficult seasons, our shared belief in Yah kept us grounded and gave us direction. We also became aware of unhealthy generational patterns that can affect relationships if left unchecked.
Recognizing those patterns helped us intentionally choose a different path. Spiritual growth isn’t just personal—it deeply affects our marriage. Many of the spiritual and relational patterns we’ve encountered are explored in greater depth in The Twelve Patriarchs – A Handbook on Spiritual Warfare, which helped us understand how awareness and obedience lead to lasting change.
Handling Conflict with Wisdom and Respect
Conflict is unavoidable, but how we handle it matters. We learned early on that criticizing each other publicly or sharing private issues with the wrong people damages trust. Respect must remain, even during disagreement.
When we needed help, we sought counsel from trusted mentors who could speak truth with wisdom. We also learned to approach conflict with patience and care, remembering that we are on the same team. Sometimes laughter helped defuse tension, reminding us that love should always lead the conversation.
Growing Together on Purpose
One of the biggest lessons we’ve learned is that growth must be intentional—and mutual. When one person grows, and the other doesn’t, distance forms. We committed to grow together, supporting each other’s strengths while working on our weaknesses.
Vulnerability played a huge role in our growth. Being honest about our struggles allowed a deeper connection. Every challenge became an opportunity to strengthen our bond rather than weaken it. Marriage thrives when both partners are willing to learn, adjust, and grow side by side.
Conclusion:
Marriage is a lifelong journey filled with lessons, joy, and refinement. Over 23 years, we’ve learned that embracing growth, practicing forgiveness, staying spiritually grounded, and choosing intentional love create a strong and lasting relationship.
Marriage isn’t about perfection—it’s about commitment. It’s about building each other up, walking through every season together, and choosing love daily, even when it’s hard.
If you are ready to deepen your spiritual walk, Transform Your Prayer Life — Praying with Authority is a Must-Read! and learn how to pray with confidence, clarity, and power. You can also uncover life-changing insights by exploring Biblical Truths REVEALED! Discover the Powerful Connection: Get From Joshua to Jesus Now! and see how Scripture connects in ways you may have never noticed before.